In the last column, I talked about releasing the pain or anger you may have buried so that you can be well. So in this blog, it is important to talk about how we do that. Talking from experience, it is not easy but it needs to be done to be completely well. Your health is not a deficiency of Prozac or heart medication but a result of a number of areas in your life that need to be cleaned up.
Blocks to healing may be lifestyle like diet or lack of exercise or emotional such as anger and other negative emotions. Here is some insight on how to overcome these emotionally based blocks.
The first and most important step is to love yourself including your mistakes, regrets, wrinkles and imperfections. No one is perfect and never will be. You may think you are the only one who has ever made mistakes but you aren't . Women are especially self-critical at looking into the mirror and seeing only the wrinkles, blemishes, areas of their face or body that have flaws. You need to stop that and learn to love and accept you as you are, flaws and all. Start by going to the mirror, and smile at your reflection. Look at yourself, and say I am beautiful and perfect and whole. That may be one of the hardest things you have ever done...try it. Stop the negative self talk. Change the way you talk to yourself in every layer of your life. You are what you say you are. If you say I am a failure, you will be. If you say I can't do it, you will not be able to. What ever you tell yourself, will be self -fulfilling. Replace every negative statement with a positive one. This one takes a lot of practice. Fire you negative inner voice that is putting blocks into your path. Those negative little voices in your head need to be replaced. Learn to catch yourself doing this and make the effort to turn it around.
#2. You must forgive yourself first for any past mistakes. You have paid for them in one way or another so do that for yourself. That is one of the hardest steps to do. It does not matter what the mistake is as long as you learned from it and it helped you to mature or become a better person in your life. Mistakes are only stepping stones to improvement or advancement in your life. They are lessons to advance you in becoming a better person. I remember at a church we went to for a few years, they have what is called cardboard Sunday. People who are members of the church line up with cardboard signs in front of the whole congregation. On the front of their sign, it states they were a drug addict or sold drugs or had an abortion. In one case, they had been to prison. Then they turn around and on the other side of the cardboard sign it states, now I am drug free or alcohol free and forgiven by God. Each sign represented mistakes that they made in their life but now were living examples on how they had changed for the positive. I have never taken drugs, but in that day looking at all these people before me that I realized that most of the people you see and meet have made mistakes in their lives. It made me realize, that I had less reason to be unhappy with mine after seeing theirs. If you have ever failed at a marriage, you realize there are far worse things to regret. Do yourself a huge favor and forgive yourself first.
#3 Forgive the people in your life that have hurt you. It may be your parents or family in many cases. Is is helping you to keep the anger and hatred? This does not mean that you let them continue to hurt you. In some cases, people in your life are toxic and toxic to you. Healing in some cases means to separate yourself from these toxic people. This does not mean you allow someone to keep on abusing you.You need to let go of these people, the negative emotions and pain that you have experienced. If you concentrate on the negative in your life, you will make more mistakes and attract these kind of people again. Learn from your mistake, but do not focus on that mistake. Focus on how you want your life to be, not your mistakes. What we focus on, it where our energy is directed to. Where do you want your energy ....doing negative or positive things.
In the courses I have taken, I have learned that most people who have hurt you, were hurt by others. They did not learn how to treat others because of their parents or family. Forgiveness does not let them out of the pain they are causing others. Karma or God will deal with them. Forgiveness benefits you so that you can go on without the anger, hatred and pain. When you let go of all of that, you are released so you can replace those negative emotions with happiness. There is no room in your heart or mind for being happy, if you are filled with anger and resentment. You have to make the choice to either keep the pain or let it go. I had a marriage when I was very young and it ended up to be a very bad choice with mental abuse. Mistakes happen and you must learn from them and let them make you a more mature person with better judgement.
#4 If someone has hurt you and there is pain, find a way to release it such as using a diary or a letter to that person telling them how you feel. The letter is not to be sent but just to express and get out how you feel. Burn it afterwards. Another method is to set a chair in front of you and imagine that person who hurt you sitting in it. Then tell them everything you feel about the way they treated you. Yell or scream at them until all the anger is gone. Use your anger to change the system or fight for others. Turn your anger into action to prevent others from experiencing your fate such as in child abuse. Help others who have gone through what you have. Work at a women's shelter helping others.
#5. If you can afford therapy with a professional, it can be very helpful. Therapy can help you when your past is too painful to do it by yourself. Therapy such as NLP therapy is very good and more positive than standard therapy. If nothing else, find a group in your community or on FB of people who have gone through what you are experiencing such as grief or abuse. Their support because they understand what you are going through, may help you to heal.
The next blog will go into getting over blocks to healing such as diet. Why did I discuss this first. If the reason you are obese is because you eat out of abuse or pain from the past, you will not be able to lose weight until you deal with those issues. If you take drugs because of your past mistakes, you need to do the healing first that I am writing about. I hope this blog makes your realize how important it is to do the deep cleaning of your life so that you can get well completely. Healing holistically starts from the inside.
I wish you love and blessings. Kate Freer, the herbladyisin