Tuesday, December 12, 2017

Winter is Here-Tips for Staying Flu Free with Natural Medicine

My father-in-law who only has a few more months to live.

A few thoughts on life and life ending.

We understand our parents more as we get older. I could not understand as a child when I got up earlier then usual, my mom would be sitting at the table writing in her journal, reading the bible, and drinking her coffee. She would send me back to bed until it was time for all of us to get up. It was her time, precious time she needed to remain healthy and sane. I understand how spending time with her plants gave her such pleasure. It is clear to me now, how she felt about life and the trials she was facing with my father. So much is clear to me now because I am walking down a similar path with some of the same problems. So I got up at 4:30 AM to write this.  Quiet, peaceful, and free of interruptions for a few more minutes.

Mom took little time for pleasure because she worked so hard. I am like my mom. No one could ever say, I was not a hard worker.  Saying that, neither my mom, nor I have taken enough time to laugh and have fun. So the other night my husbanMy fd and I watched Hallmark movies for the evening. Hallmark movies are predictable but so sweet. They take you away from daily life and into a place where life ends well. That is important to give your mind a break from life that doesn't always end well.  When life gets harder, you must give you mind rest from the stress. 

As I look to 2018, I know life and the coming year will be harder. My father-in-law who I have taken care of for months is in the end stage of Chronic Leukemia.  He still is playing golf but his body has already stopping creating new white cells, red cells, and platelets. His labs are falling with each test. At 93 the doctors are impressed he is not more effected at this stage. If you spend as much time with him as I do, you can see the gradual changes such as more weakness getting out of his chair and trying to hit the golf ball. 

How I look at death at 67:

My view toward death is this. We all have a contract of life days. For some it is 93 years and for others it may be 45.  In his case, his body is simply done with continuing life. It is telling him, his organs and systems are tired and have come to the end of their production. Everything in life has a shelf life and a point where they end. We all will die from something at some point. The goal is do the most you are capable of for the duration of your individual contract of life. Since most of us do not know the ending contract date, we need to make each day count in every way we can. Live life as if were to end soon. We tend to put things off because we think we have years to do things, but often we don't. Life life as if each day is a gift and a blessing...because they are! 

I know the next few months will be extremely hard to go through but it is part of life we all must deal with. It is important the higher your stress level climbs, the more you must work to keep it healthy. This is winter and everywhere you go, someone is sick or coughing. 

 Here are some tips to stay healthy this season.

#1- Take time to rest your body and mind. Give both of them downtime from your work schedule. That might include music, walks, watching a TV program that does not include violence and killing; one that is gentle on the mind.  What ever gives your body and mind a rest, put that into your list of things to do.

#2 Get enough real rest at night.  A strong body can defeat a virus or bacterial infection much more effectively. Read something positive before bed, something that calms the mind, rather than excites it or irritates it like politics.  Drink  a calming tea such as chamomile before bed. Herbal formulas that include herbs such as Valerian Root and passion flower help. 

#3 Wash your hands after shopping and visiting friends. Wash your hands often during this time period.  Try to stay away from doctor's offices and the germ laden  atmosphere. If you have to go, sit away from others and don't go there any earlier than needed.  

#4  Use garlic in your cooking which defeats most virus and bacteria.  Try to eat healthy despite it being Christmas and cookies are everywhere you look. Candy stares you down with every trip to the store.  It is hard to say no to the goodies.

#5 Take a higher dose of Vitamin C, Vitamin D, and overall vitamin support.  This is part of a keep your body strong program to help stay well.  

#6 If you are exposed to sickness in the work place or at home, take natural antibiotic herbs the first hint of feeling like you are coming down with something. The earlier you take steps, the better you will stay well. 

Natural antibiotic herbs include: Garlic, Goldenseal, Echineacea, Oregano, Immune enhancing formulas, Colloidal Silver, and Neem.  Herbs must be taken 3-4 times a day with two to three caps being the dosage. The suggested dosage on the bottle is only that, a suggestion. They are not allowed to give you dosage information because of the government. You must research that for yourself because it varies from one person to another. Start out as the suggested dosage, than move up from there. If the dosage does not seem to be affecting your virus, then either it is resistant, is the wrong herb to fight with or you are not taking a high enough dosage. It takes 3 to 4 days to know that. The sooner you start, the better it will be to defeat it. Herbs do works on both virus and bacterial infections. I have used them for 35 years with good results. You must take them properly to work. 

God Bless you all this week. Take time to give lots of hugs and warm words!
Kate Freer, the Herbladyisin

Thursday, November 9, 2017

Spring is in the air! How to add Spring to your house during the gloomy winter months!

Spring is in the air! How to add Spring to your house during the gloomy winter months!

I want to first thank you all for reading these blogs and supporting it. We have been so busy trying to get this nursery going that writing time has been almost impossible. I take care of my father-in-law for hours a day then come home to work on plants and projects until it is dark. By then often my brain and body is pretty tired. I will be striving to get more blogs done and more writing. I hope you come back weekly to enjoy the column.

It is... in our house this winter, even if it is very cold outside. I always hate winter because all the plants are dormant.  Beautiful green Tennessee becomes its winter face which is not as pretty. I am always sad when our hummers leave for warmer places. They left two weeks early this year. Raising plants in the house lifts my spirit and gives me joy. 

Peppermint scented geraniums

Our kitchen Neem tree grove which is there to give me leaves for my tea.

Purple Passion Flower Vines

Our house is full of baby plants that will grow  and be ready for Spring sales and to plant in containers for stock plants. We bought them too late to be put outside so they are hanging out in our lighted basement and living room.  Forty watt, very bright, shop lights will be very economical on the electricity bill.  Growing in our living room are  some very special herb plants as well such as Stevia, sage, and a special herb from Africa.  Some of these will either be house plants in winter or porch plants in the warmer months.  We will be growing some very beautiful shrubs such as hydrangea that feed the soul and give warmth to the heart. Medicinal herbs will be grown so that people begin to realize you can grow many of these at home and in your yards. It is quite rewarding to take the Neem leaves off my trees in the kitchen and make my own antibiotic tea. I know the trees are healthy, that no chemicals have been used on the trees, and that I picked them safely.  I don't have to worry about the source of my leaves. That is why you should have your own personal herb garden even if it has to be in containers. 

Moringa and Neem trees can be grown in large containers and raised as a house tree in the winter and moved outdoors in the warm months. When we were in CA our Moringa trees did bloom and have seed pods.  It will be interesting to see of the Neem do that raised in the house.  If you give them proper lighting and warmth, they will not lose their leaves. We put clear plastic liners on the inside of the kitchen windows. It was amazing how much cold comes through these old windows.  We noticed the temperature change immediately. I predict we will have to turn on the propane heaters less this winter.  The plastic clear shower liners are 1 buck at the Dollar Tree. In some cases, I put two layers up on each window. It lets the sun in for the plants but helps keep out the cold.  Dwarf pomegrantes are another plant for the house. The blooms are beautiful and the small fruit is good.

Turn down the winter blues with house plants and give your heart a lift.
Thanks for reading today.
Kate Freer, the Herbladyisin

Monday, October 30, 2017

Our Back Yard Nursery is Almost Up! Growing Herbs for Health and Flowering Scrubs for the Soul

Hi Friends, it has been awhile for blogs. 

We have been working till dark for weeks on fencing off the pasture for the flock, working on the 12 by 24 cold frame, buying plants that will be for sale in Spring. Some will be used for stock plants as well.

 I am so thankful for my husband who is working so hard on the cold frame and fencing. We are a team effort to make this all work. The longer we are together, the more I realize the value of team effort. For independent women, such as myself, it is a move forward to realize you CANNOT do it all. As you get older, it is even more important to work together as a team. 

I will be sharing some healing news that I am excited about. I have had phlebitis in my right leg for 30 years that is a genetic problem. It had gotten worse in the past years. I have tried many things on it that did not help enough not to be in pain. I finally started on a new regimen that has made all the difference in the world and that is exciting. I have always believed there is a solution with natural medicine but it takes a lot of experimenting to find the answer at times. I will be sharing this in a blog in the near future. The important thing is never to say there is not a answer. You must keep searching and asking for guidance on finding the answer. It is never too late to find the answer to a perplexing and difficult health problem. 

Will be sharing a picture of the 12 by 24 foot cold frame in the next blog. This is our newly fenced off nursery area.
 We had so many delays from repairs on the chicken coop area from our raccoon predators to rain.  Now all but the roof is done so next will be the plastic covering. It all takes lots of time and some money to get it done. 

For this winter since the plants were bought too late to be put in the ground, we have them in the house.  It is amazing how many plants you can creatively add to rooms. The 12  Neem Trees and dwarf pomegranates have taken over the kitchen as usual. I had them on the porch until the squirrels ate one.  The plant was taken root and all off the porch.

Neem Trees

The basement, living room, and back room are all filled with next year baby plants such as hydrangeas, crapemyrtles, mints, and all sorts of beautiful flowering scrubs. They are babies now that will end up planted in containers around our yard in Spring.  We will be growing our own cuttings. By the way crapemyrtle is correct as one word. Spell check has its problems with medical words and botanic names.  

Herbs and Beautiful Flowering Shrubs heal the soul and lighten your heart!

When we first made the decision to open a back yard nursery, I was just going to sell herb plants. Then on my drive everyday this summer, the beautiful pink crapemyrtles were blooming all over here locally. I loved seeing them. It gave me a smile. I have always been a practical grower. If you couldn't eat it or make it into tea, I didn't spend my money on it. I realized I had been missing something in my life that was important...beautiful plants that appealed to the soul. So we changed the direction of our nursery to both herbs and beautiful blooming plants such as hydrangea, crapes, and butterfly bushes. People need those beautiful plants to lighten the load of life and give them focus on the many gifts from God.  So late in the season here I began buying young plants for next year.  Will be writing blogs on some of these herbs you can grow for yourself such as the ones pictured and Neem trees. Moringa is also important to be included in herbs and plants you can grow yourself for health. Many of the herb plants have beautiful flowers as well. We are excited for the New Year when we get our nursery license and begin selling plants. It has been a long journey for this dream. We will announce when it is officially open in Spring for plant sales.

Jiao-gu-lan, Sweet Tea Vine is one of the herb plants that will be for sale. The leaves are steeped in water then used as an over all tea for better health.  

Passion Flower: Not all passion flowers are medicinal. The blue one like this is not. It is the purple passion flower that has the research behind it for helping one to sleep.  I will sell both since they have beautiful exotic flowers.  

Monday, August 7, 2017

Please Join me on FaceBook so I Can Communicate With All Of You Better

I am reluctantly joining the new world with Facebook as one of its hallmarks.  I am of the old school of talking face to face or voice to voice. I like to see people's eyes when they talk and hear the emotion in their voice and words. I am naturally a people reader and watcher. I text only because it is the way my kids communicate often. There are times when I actually find it useful, although I hate to admit that. It certainly works better in a doctor's office than disturbing others.

Having said this,  I do have to admit that Facebook is apart of business these days.  I do have a Face Book page and would like you to visit and join me there.  It is another way to communicate with all of you on a personal basis. It is easier to communicate with all of you on a one to one basis. I have closed off comments on my blog here because of spam comments by a group who represents some doctor who says he can cure everything.  I cannot seem to stop the group from submitting comments which come from different emails each time. So that is why I closed off comments to shut that down.

So click onto my FACEBOOK page and join me there. Help me slide into the new world by leaving me a message or giving me a like if you would! I sure would appreciate it!

Kate Freer, the herbladyisin

Monday, May 1, 2017

The Importance of Immune Function in Stomach Flu and other Illness

It may be the end of stomach flu season but for the first time in 20 years my husband and I came down with stomach flu. This was a real nasty version that made you feel like a mac truck had mowed you down.  I could hardly drag myself out of bed for two days. 
Why did we get sick, when normally we don't get sick with flu or colds?  The answer is easy in our case. Our immune function was down.

Stomach flu really is sneaky at times.  My father-in-law got sick a few days after seeing the dermatologist.  They diagnosed  his over the body rash as a drug interaction. They then gave him Prednisone for the rash which is hard on the stomach. He was given a Prednisone taper dosage.
"Prednisone is a synthetic corticosteroid drug that is particularly effective as an immunosuppressant drug. It is used to treat certain inflammatory diseases (such as moderate allergic reactions), some autoimmune diseases, and (at higher doses) some types of cancer, but it has significant adverse effects."  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prednisone

After a few days on the new medicine, he called us saying he had been throwing up with diarrhea for several hours and was really sick.  We rushed over there and took him to emergency since he is 92.  They put him into the hospital for dehydration and instability. They did lab tests on various kidney and liver functions. They ruled it a medicine side-effect reaction. He was there for 3 days. At the time of his entrance into the hospital, my sister was due in to stay with us for a month, and the place he was living at gave all the residents a 60 days notice to pack up and leave. They had sold the building. I was livid with anger at what they did to the residents, all in their late 90's.  I was at the hospital constantly with dad. My stress level was off the wall. My emotions were torn up with where to move dad and the others. So I was angry as well.

My fatigue started while he was in the hospital.  I was tired from the stress and away from the house to take my daily regimen of immune boosters. I thought the fatigue was due to stress.  The second day of the fatigue, I went and bought sea food salad locally from a store to eat while at the hospital. When I began to get sick and throw up three hours later, I thought it was food poisoning.   I took colloidal silver and Kyolic garlic for it only after I began throwing up.  Two days later my sister got sick, then my niece, then my husband. It was apparent then, it was the flu originally caught from dad, that we were all sick with. So the diagnosis of 'medicine reaction' was wrong and misleading.  Since I have never had stomach flu, I was not worried about that. I have been around people who got sick before and not gotten sick.  What made the difference?

Immune function in all of us was down. I might add that my sister gets a flu shot every year, but she got sick too. My husband and I don't believe in flu shots. I still don't. I believe in keeping the immune function at optimal performance so you don't get sick, even when others are.  In this case all of us were under abnormal stress.  We were devastated in having to move dad again. He had just moved in the place the middle of January. He and all the others loved it there and it was convenient for us to visit him. The way they did it caused emotional turmoil and anger.  Those negative emotional reactions really cause problems in your immune function.  It imbalances your fragile immune function.  So what should we have done.

I should have made more of an effort to take immune and nerve supporting herbs. When my sister was there, I did not take them as I usually do.  My normal schedule was thrown off with all the activity.  She does not believe in herbal medicine, so we took the herbs from the kitchen to the bedroom where it is harder to remember to take them. I was having a hard time juggling my sister's visit, dad's hospital stay, and trying to figure out the next step for dad.

When dad got sick, I should have begun a heightened response to ward off what dad was sick with. I really thought it was medication related.  No one else was sick at his apartments that we knew of. So I was caught off guard as well. I had suspected food poisoning,  since the food they served the residents was often uncooked or of poor quality.  My advice for myself and all of you for the future, is to assume that anyone around you who is throwing up and suffering from diarrhea, is contagious.  It is better to be safe than sorry. 

Immediately began a high dosage of Vitamin C,  Goldenseal, oregano, and Kyolic garlic. Take more of your favorite immune boosting formula. If you don't have one, visit your local health food store, and they will help you pick one. 

At the first sign of heavy fatigue, start the immune system regimen. Do not blame it on stress.

Assume the worst, that you are coming down with a virus or bacterial infection. Waiting as I did, cost me one day of throwing up and severe fatigue for several days longer. It ruined Easter day and a week of my sister's visit.  She got sick too which did not help her visit. I must point out that she would not have taken herbal remedies from me because she believes in standard medicine and flu shots. She proclaimed if it's the flu, I take my flu shot every year. She  got just as sick as we did.  So the flu shot does not work for all flu viruses.  She did not experience a reduced case either.

So my lesson for today is don't assume it is stress or just fatigue from overwork. Immediately go on a heavy regimen to boost your immune system early when the abnormal fatigue begins which is about two days before the illness really sets in.

So healthy blessings for you all reading this column.

All for today, Kate Freer,  the herbladyisin

Sunday, January 29, 2017

How Eating Moringa, Nature's Superfood, Can Help You Fight Off Colds and Flu.

Boost Your Immune System with Moringa leaves.

In the last blog, we talked about boosting your immune system which is the key to good health. Without a healthy immune system, you will be prone to colds, flu, and other diseases. So today, the focus is on Moringa and how it boosts immune function. 

Moringa is one of the most beautiful super foods in God's green kingdom.  Its nutrients are easy to digest and utilize.  You can eat food, but if the nutrients the food contains are not easy to utilize, you may get little value. An example is corn. Most of the corn grown in this country is from GMO seed and is very difficult to break down in the stomach. It also high on the list of foods that people are allergic to. That is why corn often leaves our system looking exactly the way we eat it. It was not broken down well in the stomach.  So Moringa is one super food easy to digest and its nutrients are effectively used by the body to create health. 

Moringa contains protein, amino-acids, calcium, magnesium, iron, and all the complement of nutrients needs to both repair and sustain great health. So the nutrients in the Moringa leaves feed the different body systems and tissues, both helping to prevent disease and helping to put your health back on the right track. One of the systems it feeds and supports is your immune system. 

Why do we need Moringa? In America we eat well.

If we eat well, then why is diabetes and obesity rampant in this country. It is a national disgrace, the many thousands of adults and children that have severe health problems.  Being over weight is the the norm, not the standard.  Our ingestion of fatty foods, junk foods, sodas, candy, and processed foods is horrible.  So we have the money often to eat healthy, but we don't.  So we are starving our body systems, tissues, and organs from healthy food in this country. We spend most of our time on the Ipad or computer. We watch TV more than do any form of exercise.  This results is health problems. 

Even if you eat better than the average American, most of our veggies come from big farms that use pesticides, artificial fertilizers, and often contain far less nutrients than in years past. The vegetables spend a lot of time being shipped and stored. This affects their nutrient values.  Then the way they are processed and cooked by either you or the company you buy from, further effects nutrient value.  

Moringa leaves which you can grow yourself is pure nutrition. You pick the leaves, then add the leaves to your salad or other meals. Even dried Moringa leaves have less processing when purchased from a reliable company than many of your store bought vegetables.

Adding Moringa to your health diet plan will go a long way to making sure you are getting all the nutrients and trace minerals needs for effective immune function and health. So go Moringa for better health!

This is the two brands I trust because they test their imported products for contamination, E-Coli, and heavy metals in a US lab.  I have now been using a number of their products for over two years including Moringa powder. DO NOT buy Moringa products unless the company states that they test for heavy metals and contamination. If you do you are risking your health. Organic certified can still contain E-coli, dirt, bugs, weeds, filth and insects.  This is the way it is folks.
 My #1 choice is Banyan Botanicals Organic Moringa Powder here 


  Moringa Seeds.  This is where I have bought them more recently and gotten good germination.

10 oz (APX 1000) Moringa Malunggay Drumstick Seeds - Paisley Farm and Crafts


My published Articles


Join me  below for articles not allowed on Google that are about masks, the current virus shutting down our country and other topics that are banned on Facebook, Google and other media.www.mewe.com/i/katefreer


Herbally Yours, Kate Freer, The Herbladyisin


Friday, January 27, 2017

Cold and Flu Season: Natural Antibiotics for Colds and Flu

It seems like everywhere you go friends and co-workers are coughing and sick. Whether you get sick and how long you stay sick depends on your immune system and stress level.  You need to boost your immune system during the cold season.  Eating healthy, controlling stress, and getting enough quality rest at night will go a long way in prevention.  Stay away from crowds if you can. When going to the doctor, sit away from other patients and again frequently wash your hands while there and after leaving the area.

Washing hands frequently and disinfecting your desk area phone, computer mouse, and work area will also help in prevention.  Phones and other desk tools really are nasty with germs. So the first step is defense.

The rest of this blog deals with how my family deals with getting sick.  I cannot advise you on this issue. So I am sharing with you my readers my views on dealing with sickness. Your medical doctor will not agree with this blog, I assure you. So realize that your doctor would disagree with the way our family works with health problems.He would tell you to ignore anything I talk about.  I have used standard antibiotics only on rare occasions in the past 50 years, one of them being this past year. It is my belief system and I stand by that system. I use antibiotics when nothing else works for me and when I feel the infection is dangerous and not responding to my program. You must decide for yourself.  So now I will go on with the rest of the blog.

Vitamin C 

After these steps, Vitamin C is important. Increase your Vitamin C according to tolerance when you are exposed to someone sick or when getting that sick-coming down with something feeling. If you take too much Vitamin C, you may get loose stools. If that happens back off some with the dose.

B-Complex and Zinc

A good B-Complex formula is also beneficial in boosting immune function. Zinc should be included into that formula. Extra Zinc in the form of a throat spray or lozenge often helps. There are also immune herbs formulas that help to boost your immune function enough to stop a cold in his early tracks.

Herbs that help to stamp out cold and flu:

Goldenseal, garlic, oregano are all natural herbal antibiotics.  They come in caps or liquid. The sicker you are, the more often you take the herbs. Just like standard antibiotics, you need to take herbs often enough during the day to keep the herbs in the blood stream to fight the bacteria or virus. Doctors will say that herbs to not work on viruses but after 50 years of using them, I know they do. The sooner you begin taking the herbs,  the faster you will feel better.  The more set in the sickness is, the harder it will be to stamp it out.  If you get worse despite the herbs after several days, it maybe time to do into the doctor. 

The quality of the herbs you buy determine results. The quality of the herbs depends on the integrity of the manufacturing company. There are great brands out there and poor quality brands. It is all in the quality of the herbal material and the manufacturing steps. Nature's Sunshine and New Sun are two brands I use. In my store you will only see support of brands that I feel are quality by either experience or investigation. So visit the store to see what brands I support. Poor quality herbs are throwing your money down the toilet.

Colloidal Silver and liquid Kyolic Garlic:  These two healing therapies seem to work the best for mouth and throat infections. The Colloidal Silver is very effective on a range of infections. Their liquid nature soaks into mouth crevices that are harboring infection. Effective on infected teeth and gums, I hold the liquid in my mouth for as long as possible. Clove oil rubbed into a sore tooth will also stop a tooth ache.

Neem and its benefits. I had never used Neem until this past year. Neem is not familiar to many people but should be included in the arsenal of natural antibiotics. It also stimulates the immune system. There are a number of research projects confirming its antibiotic and immune benefits. You will find tooth paste and mouth wash that includes Neem for its beneficial effects on teeth and gum problems. 

Visit the resources at the end of this article to learn more about Neem and its health benefits.

If you use one herb frequently, it is a good idea to switch to another herbal formulation for awhile, especially if what you are using is not working as effectively as you would like.

Know when to visit a physician:

If your sore throat rapidly progresses to the point you are having trouble swallowing, visit the ER. Just this year I got a jaw infection from a tooth that rapidly spread up my jaw, into my throat, and in less than a day got to the point I could not swallow. I did go to ER and used high powered antibiotics. There are times when herbs just don't work fast enough to stop the infection. 

MRSA infections can be tougher than herbs and standard antibiotics spreading through the body, shutting down organs and systems.  My jaw infection did not fully respond to drugs and got worse again, after two days of finishing three weeks of treatment. 

Standard medicine threw the best they had at the infection and it did not completely snuff it out. So then I returned to using herbs, but in higher doses. They threw 1800 mg of Augmentim at the infection for three weeks without complete success. I knew then, I would need to use a much higher dosage of herbs than I had used before.  I threw all three herbal antibiotics above at the infection plus Neem in massive doses and that finally stopped it after two more weeks. At least at that point I could eat and chew again. I felt better overall than I had in awhile.

Resistant jaw / MRSA infections are  tough for standard medicine resulting in hospital stays and antibiotic IV's. Even after all that, it often comes back according to patient comments on drug sites. Oral surgery actually removing jaw tissue is done when nothing else works.  

I found with mine that infection under two teeth, one of each side was the source of the  reoccurring jaw infection. That is why it is such a stubborn problem.  I am trying to avoid  losing those teeth but in the end, it may result is that step. Right now, I am still fighting it off and on with herbs while trying to boost my immune system as well. Any time I notice soreness starting, I begin treatment.  We will see if in the end, if I will have to have several teeth removed. We have some genetic problems with our teeth in the family. Years ago, I suffered from diagnosed Mercury poisoning from some old fillings that had deteriorated in the back of my mouth.  That caused severe health problems and complications.

I hope this gives  you some insight into how I deal with colds, flu, and infections. It is important to know when to visit the doctor. If you lack experience or are unsure when sick, it is then best to seek medical advice and help. If you visit the doctor getting a diagnosis, you then can treat it then herbally or with standard medicine. Do not use both at once, for they can increase side effects of the antibiotics or render the antibiotic more or less effective. You must decided for yourself. 

With children, infections overwhelm their small systems rapidly. Infections can turn into a killer rapidly so don't hesitate to take them in for a diagnosis. It helps to know what infection you are dealing with since it could be either a bacteria or virus.Pay attention to your motherly senses that tell you the infection is more serious than it would seem. Always go with your intuition on that. When in doubt, call for advice by your doctor.  






Thursday, January 26, 2017

How is Your New Year Going? Life is Always Changing? Dealing with change?

Life brings changes whether you want them or not.   The  'life changes' needed in our life became a priority over my writing.  It became evident that my father-in-law, who was living with us out in Indian Mound, was not getting enough stimulation. We live too far out with too many restrictions on his activities with mud, snow, and steep terrain.  We also had a tree fall on our animal barn which caused a tremendous amount of work and misery.  We were mind deep with decisions on every level.
Stress was pretty high the past several months.  The winter weather brought things to a head. Ice, snow, slippery steps, slippery mud, rain, rain and more rain just pointed out how dangerous it was for him to live with us. He is a commander and when he wants to do something, it is hard to stop him.

Finally now the barn is safe, the animals are safe again and my father-in-law is now living in a beautiful, safe, cheerful independent living arrangement with my help. In fact I am writing from there today.  Change so often is forced into our lives. It is up to us to find the rainbow in those unwelcome changes. We can get mad, fight them, let them make us sick or find a way to make them work in a positive way. That is rarely easy but in the long run, it is the healthiest answer to forced change. 

One thing we are in control of,  is our reaction to changes and the rocks life throws into our path.  It was our desire to keep his dad living with us at our own home. That is not always the best answer in every case.  We were always telling him no. He wanted to help us mow at 92 with COPD, help us with the barn roof, take shortcuts through the mud and water, and refuse to hold the rail on the steep stairs.  He was confused by our farm life style. He could not understand why we wanted to live in the country with trees falling on the barn. He would get scared when we were on the roof trying to fix it. He got upset every time we were not in the house.  Were we hurt? Did we need his help?  So after many emotional discussions, we knew living with us in the country was hurting him in this situation. 

So with hours of research we found a independent living apt near our house that was wonderful. I would have to be there a lot during the day to make sure he was managing ok, but it would work. This required our dedication to being there every day for several hours. Since I am the one with care giving experience, most of the responsibility would fall on my watch. That meant being away from the house, not having the time for a garden or much else, and being away from the house most of the day. The mental adjustment was hard. I love working on the property and working green.  I realized that  time for a garden might be gone for this year but that here sitting with him during the day, I could get some writing back into my life.  Here there are less distractions and no chores, so no guilt for not doing this or that at home. Other than errands and taking him to play golf, I just have to learn how to concentrate on writing while he has the TV very loud. Keeping track of my thoughts while keeping track of what he needs. His memory goes in and out so it is important for me to be here when it is not working well. I am his stability when he is not functioning well. A balancing act that is easier here than it was at our house.

So now that he is more settled here, I can get back to writing.  I still get to be home for a little while in the mornings and evenings for my husband and my animals.  I focus on the blessings that he is still functioning on many levels so that he does not need a nursing home. All is all, there are many blessing in all of this. 

I know that many of you are going through changes that are hard, much worse than mine.  It is our choice to be happy or feel resentment. We can either find the blessing in each change or focus on the pain. You may feel there are no blessings in your situation.  At times, it is very difficult to see how your life can ever be positive again.  I try to see the lessons in any given situation. My lesson now is to learn to live one day at a time, not knowing what the next bend will bring. I hate that. I am the girl with back up plan one, back up plan two and three.  I hate uncertainty. I don't like loose ends. It seems that life right now is full of the unknown.  My father-in-law may get worse at any time and require a nursing home or other decisions. He may be fine for months. There is no one who has that answer.  So I must learn to go with each day and know that God will help me now and through each step of this uncertain future.  We can only do our best on each day. We can only strive to get the most from each step in our life.  So I do hope you stay reading this blog as the year goes through.  I hope your new year brings you peace, beauty, and joy.
Kate Freer, the Herbladyisin